Friday, June 27, 2008
Working With Forms Of Life
A regular reader asked an important question the other day - what do you do when someone you love dearly has a habit that causes you great distress?
The reader was asking about his loved one who - whenever she sees spiders rushes over to stamp on them - and yet this person has many endearing qualities, I am sure of that. What do you do about such a thing when you value all life, as the reader does.
I feel this is such an important question that I want to devote a post to it. Sometime ago I posted about whales that I saw that happened to swim near where I live and the beautiful way they reacted. What I didn't say is that there was a reason that they did that, I believe.
I knew the whales were swimming by because that's what they do at that time of year and I would speak to them regularly.
Understand I was at a considerable distance but I was speaking to them inside my apartment with the windows shut, probably a minimum of a half a mile - maybe a little farther away but I could see them and I was talking quietly and feeling this great warmth of love for them and telling them how much I loved them and respected them and appreciated them and wanted them to be safe and so on. And very often they would stop swimming, come up to the surface of the water and look right at me.
So it was during this time when I was interacting with the whales that way and they were acknowledging what I was saying and feeling, they are so sensitive you know, that the beautiful breaching happened with the whales leaping out of the water as I put in that post - but I want to answer the readers question and this is my answer.
You cannot change automatically the patterns of a loved one. After all, you fell in love with that person and that person is a package deal - isn't it that way. So to get that person to stop isn't so easy. The only thing I recommend that you do is to encourage her to start something different. Starting something is very often much easier than stopping something.
For some reason she has been trained or conditioned to be afraid of spiders and I can understand that. It is not a rare fear. So this is what I recommend you do.
I recommend you walk around your house or around the area where you live or walk or go with your wife and while you're walking around on your own just talk very quietly, a little above a whisper but not much more than that, and just talk to the spiders.
Tell them that you appreciate them very much and you honor them as a life form but that you want to warn them that the area where you and you wife live is not safe for them and ask them to move far far away so that they will be safe. Don't talk to a specific spider if you see them but do ask to speak to the teacher of the spiders or the angel or spirit that speaks to the spiders. This is the best thing to do. I have found that if you talk to individual spiders they are fascinated. They do understand in their own way and they might come around just to experience more of that.
So it's better then to walk around and talk. You talk out loud because you are stating something physically as a physical Earth human being. You are warning a form of life to stay away.
Granted, you may appreciate them - you might appreciate the way they spin their webs for instance and the point that they begin from being not unlike the center of the universe with rays coming out from it and interlocking threads which is a lot about life isn't it. You might find beauty in them even if their personal appearance does not always appeal.
Perhaps they feel the same way about us but they have great tolerance don't they, considering that we have not welcomed them as a species very much as human beings - but we can learn slowly.
So I recommend you walk around and say - it's not safe for you here, please go far away and make your homes there.
That's really all you can do and the other thing you can do...perhaps, is to encourage your wife to go to the zoo. Go to the natural history museum. Go to the aquarium. Go to places where different forms of life exist. Don't scare her taking her to the spider exhibit but work subtly and gently. Encourage her to appreciate other forms of life. She may feel fine about many other forms but this is what I recommend for now.
Goodlife.
The reader was asking about his loved one who - whenever she sees spiders rushes over to stamp on them - and yet this person has many endearing qualities, I am sure of that. What do you do about such a thing when you value all life, as the reader does.
I feel this is such an important question that I want to devote a post to it. Sometime ago I posted about whales that I saw that happened to swim near where I live and the beautiful way they reacted. What I didn't say is that there was a reason that they did that, I believe.
I knew the whales were swimming by because that's what they do at that time of year and I would speak to them regularly.
Understand I was at a considerable distance but I was speaking to them inside my apartment with the windows shut, probably a minimum of a half a mile - maybe a little farther away but I could see them and I was talking quietly and feeling this great warmth of love for them and telling them how much I loved them and respected them and appreciated them and wanted them to be safe and so on. And very often they would stop swimming, come up to the surface of the water and look right at me.
So it was during this time when I was interacting with the whales that way and they were acknowledging what I was saying and feeling, they are so sensitive you know, that the beautiful breaching happened with the whales leaping out of the water as I put in that post - but I want to answer the readers question and this is my answer.
You cannot change automatically the patterns of a loved one. After all, you fell in love with that person and that person is a package deal - isn't it that way. So to get that person to stop isn't so easy. The only thing I recommend that you do is to encourage her to start something different. Starting something is very often much easier than stopping something.
For some reason she has been trained or conditioned to be afraid of spiders and I can understand that. It is not a rare fear. So this is what I recommend you do.
I recommend you walk around your house or around the area where you live or walk or go with your wife and while you're walking around on your own just talk very quietly, a little above a whisper but not much more than that, and just talk to the spiders.
Tell them that you appreciate them very much and you honor them as a life form but that you want to warn them that the area where you and you wife live is not safe for them and ask them to move far far away so that they will be safe. Don't talk to a specific spider if you see them but do ask to speak to the teacher of the spiders or the angel or spirit that speaks to the spiders. This is the best thing to do. I have found that if you talk to individual spiders they are fascinated. They do understand in their own way and they might come around just to experience more of that.
So it's better then to walk around and talk. You talk out loud because you are stating something physically as a physical Earth human being. You are warning a form of life to stay away.
Granted, you may appreciate them - you might appreciate the way they spin their webs for instance and the point that they begin from being not unlike the center of the universe with rays coming out from it and interlocking threads which is a lot about life isn't it. You might find beauty in them even if their personal appearance does not always appeal.
Perhaps they feel the same way about us but they have great tolerance don't they, considering that we have not welcomed them as a species very much as human beings - but we can learn slowly.
So I recommend you walk around and say - it's not safe for you here, please go far away and make your homes there.
That's really all you can do and the other thing you can do...perhaps, is to encourage your wife to go to the zoo. Go to the natural history museum. Go to the aquarium. Go to places where different forms of life exist. Don't scare her taking her to the spider exhibit but work subtly and gently. Encourage her to appreciate other forms of life. She may feel fine about many other forms but this is what I recommend for now.
Goodlife.
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4 comments:
Hello Robert, I really appreicated your last post.I'm going to gently show my wife to let her know we all care. A little story. Since I've had concern for her lately on many subjects. It was interesting to see wildlife in the area of where I live, and she came in contact with. Two cutest baby raccoons on our back porch. Just sitting there. Of course she was concerned ,tried to feed them. We both thought they might of been abandoned for some reason. They were both gone the following morning. I feel they were just visiting. The next day on my way to work she called be and said there was a baby deer in front of the house. Really close to her. I said " mother wants to acknowledge you for the good person you are". That was a positive message for her to let her know that . The innocent love you have for all beings, is the innocent love they have for you.A shaman in her making , eh. Thank you again Robert , Vince
Greetings Vince, thank you for your warm-hearted response and the encouraging element of interactions between the human world and the natural world. It seems to me that the welcoming process is well underway.
Goodlife my friend.
Hi Robert,
I know my mother meant well when she taught me early on that bugs are scary and nasty and need to be killed. She used to go around the house with a can of flit, spraying anything that looked like a creepy-crawler...even dust balls.
It has taken a real effort over the years for me to get beyond that well taught fear.
Goodlife.
Greetings Louis. Oh my friend, it's so true isn't it.
Goodlife.
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