Being Who You Really Are, Part 2

Now last time I talked about how it might be of value to project your true personality even in awkward or uncomfortable situations.

So, this time I want to give you specific suggestions and instructions for the homework. Not in front of a mirror, go ahead and say a few things out loud the way you might normally say them. Say in an awkward situation - say someone comes up to you at a bus stop and asks you out in some way that's offensive, as many of you might be approached. Male or female, it happens - and at the very least it can be awkward if you're not attracted to the other person to say nothing of the fact that it's impolite because you don't know them and they don't know you. In that case you see, if that is so - or they might do so in an offensive manner - that happens.

You could simply get mad and yell at them but you don't know who they are or whether they are entirely of sound mind. So, this is what you do to practice in your homework, I'm going to give you a couple of lines and you can write a few more for yourself. The first line is, "Stand back." That's all. The second line is, "I am completely comfortable on my own." That's all.

You understand these are not necessarily things you would say to people but they are designed to bring out qualities within you.

Then I'm going to suggest that before you do your homework you ask to feel as much physical confidence, strength and sense of your own personality as possible. Then wait for a moment or two and see if you feel different physically. Remember you are alone doing this so nobody's watching, nobody's going to laugh. Then say the first line.

Remember that if you are in an actual situation like that your natural reaction is to be frightened or angry and it's alright up to a point to display that but the way to display it is with feeling, not with words you see. Words can be provocative to someone who might say something like that to you - make some wise crack or come-on you understand but with a certain amount of feeling, strength, confidence, self-assuredness - and those are feelings I want you to practice - then you can emanate certain qualities.

Now I grant that if you are strong, if you have physical capabilities to resist something like this or even in the case of something said in jest or even partially in jest, the best way to deflect it is to make a jest back perhaps but there are times when you don't feel like it. So - I'm suggesting that you write some lines for yourself. Very simple, things that you'd like to say. Practice those feelings of confidence.

I'm not suggesting that you go out and do this in public because this homework isn't intended to give you ways to defend yourself or to specifically give you ways to feel safe though I have produced a book on that subject.

What I do recommend is that you consider this to be confidence building. The whole point of this post and the last one is to be able to feel confident enough to demonstrate your own personality without a mask in awkward situations.

I may say more about this in time but I'm giving you this homework now so that you can work on it and if you know others following this blog or my other to help each other to practice in this way.

Goodlife to you all and goodnight.

Welcoming Co-operation

You will find in these coming days and weeks an unusual spirit of co-operation but there is a clause that goes with that and that is that you may have to work on increasing your receptivity - meaning to increase your capacity to say and feel - welcome.
I'm going to give you some homework to try with that. It's going to be a lot easier than you think. For those of you who have a dog, then this is good homework to do with a dog but if there is a tree in your back yard or in the park then you can try it with a tree. Of course the tree can't trot over and sit on your lap the way a dog might but it can be feeling safe to try. Don't if you would try it with a wild bird or something like that and cats don't always co-operate in this but they might - if you have a pet cat - and this is what to do.
You can either stand or sit near the tree or you can be on one side of the room and your dog or maybe your cat on the other side of the room and just start feeling - you can say quietly - welcome - and then make an effort to feel that you're welcoming someone. Saying the word is not sufficient but practice feeling - welcome.
Now the reason we do this with a dog or a cat first or a tree is that these things are safe and will feel safe for you to work with. If you do not have things like that, then use the sun in the sky and you are then doing something which is actually an old and sacred tradition - welcoming the sun. So this is good. If it is nighttime and then - you can welcome the moon. It is fine to do that if that's what you have. So that's what I recommend.
There's a reason. I'll explain a little bit of it today and in the future - more - and the reason is this - since there is going to be more co-operation between not only your fellow human beings and you but also between animals and even plants and portions of Mother Earth and you and all others, you need to know how to give the signal that that co-operation is welcome. That's why I want you to practice this. You may in the future ask your fellow human beings for things or you may simply welcome the attention of a pet or even a friend. So welcoming it and saying, "Please come" or "Do this" and so on doesn't always work. People and animals will feel attracted to you if they feel a genuine sense - and it has to be a feeling you see - of being welcome.
So for those of you who are actors or learning to act or honing your skills, these kind of exercises are also useful because they can help you to establish within yourself a feeling that is so apparent that when you are on stage the audience will actually feel it and an audience is much more likely to believe what is going on on stage if their feelings correspond with that which is being emanated - not thrown towards them but felt so strongly by those on the stage that they can feel it even out in the audience with all the other people. That was just a little extra for all you actors and actresses out there.
Goodlife to you all and goodnight.