Being Who You Really Are, Part 1

Artificial - or otherwise known as put-on masks in our society are not unusual are they. Sometimes we can completely justify doing so. Other times we do so simply because we feel awkward or uncomfortable and we don our well practiced mask.

I'm bringing this up not to criticize or chide anyone but rather because so many of you have said to me over the years, "Where is my perfect mate? How can I find that person? Is there any chance that they might find me?"

When we don a mask even for a reason of safety we automatically place a veil over ourselves so that we cannot be seen. The mask in that sense is our suit of armor that allows us to feel safe or as safe as possible in whatever situation we're protecting ourselves - and I'm not saying that that's not justified at times but that mask also keeps us from being seen and appreciated.

I'm bringing this up because I want to suggest some homework for those of you who feel it may be of value to you and that is homework that has the intent to allow you to be seen in your actual personality so that your perfect mate might just be attracted to the real you as compared to a mask that you, after a time even in a long duration relationship, must drop out of simple exhaustion or boredom and thus follows confusion in your mates part.

What I recommend then is that the actual personality you have be something that needs to be strengthened - to have a confidence, to have a projection if you like of your personality that feels safe.

So this is what I'm going to suggest and it might sound very miniscule but I feel that it is something that we've been exposed to in thought but rarely do.

I know that a great many of you are interested in the theatrical and perhaps enjoy television or movies or other theatrical productions. Actors, in order to convince not only the audience but also the Producer and the Director or the casting person in order to get the role must be able to convince the watchers that they not only can perform their duties professionally but that they can actually be or live or function in a way that is perceived as the role they are playing.

They cannot - in order to be convincing even in front of the camera as compared to the stage production - they cannot be Actor's acting. They have to convince you, the audience, that they are not acting. Otherwise it is boring for you, even tedious.

You must be able as an Actor to draw the audience in whoever they are so that they believe that what's going on on the stage is real, or as real as you can make it, so that they can suspend their disbelief - that these are Actors performing on the stage during the time of the performance.

So what I'm going to suggest to you is that you practice. Do not practice initially in front of a mirror. Practice only in some room where you cannot be seen or heard generally speaking. I want you to practice, with feeling, saying things that you might have to say - even though you may never have to say them but in your mind that you might have to say in order to feel safe.

That mask, as it were, that you occasionally project to insulate and protect yourself and thus block a potential mate from seeing who you really are and worse - sometimes someone might even be attracted to that mask you see - and then after a time in your budding relationship with them you must drop that mask because it's exhausting to portray and you wish to be seen for yourself.

You want to enjoy the relationship and you want the person to enjoy you - who you are but you see if they were attracted to that mask then, well it's a problem for both of you.

So how can you portray yourself as yourself yes - as the Actor in that sense here in my analogy and be appreciated for who you are. That's why I'm recommending this homework. Act - the following ways. Say certain lines - set up certain lines to say for yourself.

If you want, you can write them down. These lines are not to be provocative. They are designed to be projecting self-assurance and confidence and with a certain amount of practice you might just be able to produce those feelings especially when there is no threat and no problem with projecting those feelings. I'll get into more details next time.

Goodlife.

Welcoming Co-operation

You will find in these coming days and weeks an unusual spirit of co-operation but there is a clause that goes with that and that is that you may have to work on increasing your receptivity - meaning to increase your capacity to say and feel - welcome.
I'm going to give you some homework to try with that. It's going to be a lot easier than you think. For those of you who have a dog, then this is good homework to do with a dog but if there is a tree in your back yard or in the park then you can try it with a tree. Of course the tree can't trot over and sit on your lap the way a dog might but it can be feeling safe to try. Don't if you would try it with a wild bird or something like that and cats don't always co-operate in this but they might - if you have a pet cat - and this is what to do.
You can either stand or sit near the tree or you can be on one side of the room and your dog or maybe your cat on the other side of the room and just start feeling - you can say quietly - welcome - and then make an effort to feel that you're welcoming someone. Saying the word is not sufficient but practice feeling - welcome.
Now the reason we do this with a dog or a cat first or a tree is that these things are safe and will feel safe for you to work with. If you do not have things like that, then use the sun in the sky and you are then doing something which is actually an old and sacred tradition - welcoming the sun. So this is good. If it is nighttime and then - you can welcome the moon. It is fine to do that if that's what you have. So that's what I recommend.
There's a reason. I'll explain a little bit of it today and in the future - more - and the reason is this - since there is going to be more co-operation between not only your fellow human beings and you but also between animals and even plants and portions of Mother Earth and you and all others, you need to know how to give the signal that that co-operation is welcome. That's why I want you to practice this. You may in the future ask your fellow human beings for things or you may simply welcome the attention of a pet or even a friend. So welcoming it and saying, "Please come" or "Do this" and so on doesn't always work. People and animals will feel attracted to you if they feel a genuine sense - and it has to be a feeling you see - of being welcome.
So for those of you who are actors or learning to act or honing your skills, these kind of exercises are also useful because they can help you to establish within yourself a feeling that is so apparent that when you are on stage the audience will actually feel it and an audience is much more likely to believe what is going on on stage if their feelings correspond with that which is being emanated - not thrown towards them but felt so strongly by those on the stage that they can feel it even out in the audience with all the other people. That was just a little extra for all you actors and actresses out there.
Goodlife to you all and goodnight.