Being Who You Really Are, Part 1

Artificial - or otherwise known as put-on masks in our society are not unusual are they. Sometimes we can completely justify doing so. Other times we do so simply because we feel awkward or uncomfortable and we don our well practiced mask.

I'm bringing this up not to criticize or chide anyone but rather because so many of you have said to me over the years, "Where is my perfect mate? How can I find that person? Is there any chance that they might find me?"

When we don a mask even for a reason of safety we automatically place a veil over ourselves so that we cannot be seen. The mask in that sense is our suit of armor that allows us to feel safe or as safe as possible in whatever situation we're protecting ourselves - and I'm not saying that that's not justified at times but that mask also keeps us from being seen and appreciated.

I'm bringing this up because I want to suggest some homework for those of you who feel it may be of value to you and that is homework that has the intent to allow you to be seen in your actual personality so that your perfect mate might just be attracted to the real you as compared to a mask that you, after a time even in a long duration relationship, must drop out of simple exhaustion or boredom and thus follows confusion in your mates part.

What I recommend then is that the actual personality you have be something that needs to be strengthened - to have a confidence, to have a projection if you like of your personality that feels safe.

So this is what I'm going to suggest and it might sound very miniscule but I feel that it is something that we've been exposed to in thought but rarely do.

I know that a great many of you are interested in the theatrical and perhaps enjoy television or movies or other theatrical productions. Actors, in order to convince not only the audience but also the Producer and the Director or the casting person in order to get the role must be able to convince the watchers that they not only can perform their duties professionally but that they can actually be or live or function in a way that is perceived as the role they are playing.

They cannot - in order to be convincing even in front of the camera as compared to the stage production - they cannot be Actor's acting. They have to convince you, the audience, that they are not acting. Otherwise it is boring for you, even tedious.

You must be able as an Actor to draw the audience in whoever they are so that they believe that what's going on on the stage is real, or as real as you can make it, so that they can suspend their disbelief - that these are Actors performing on the stage during the time of the performance.

So what I'm going to suggest to you is that you practice. Do not practice initially in front of a mirror. Practice only in some room where you cannot be seen or heard generally speaking. I want you to practice, with feeling, saying things that you might have to say - even though you may never have to say them but in your mind that you might have to say in order to feel safe.

That mask, as it were, that you occasionally project to insulate and protect yourself and thus block a potential mate from seeing who you really are and worse - sometimes someone might even be attracted to that mask you see - and then after a time in your budding relationship with them you must drop that mask because it's exhausting to portray and you wish to be seen for yourself.

You want to enjoy the relationship and you want the person to enjoy you - who you are but you see if they were attracted to that mask then, well it's a problem for both of you.

So how can you portray yourself as yourself yes - as the Actor in that sense here in my analogy and be appreciated for who you are. That's why I'm recommending this homework. Act - the following ways. Say certain lines - set up certain lines to say for yourself.

If you want, you can write them down. These lines are not to be provocative. They are designed to be projecting self-assurance and confidence and with a certain amount of practice you might just be able to produce those feelings especially when there is no threat and no problem with projecting those feelings. I'll get into more details next time.

Goodlife.