tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15435314.post8745580192255959364..comments2023-08-21T23:43:32.124-10:00Comments on Benevolent Magic: More On Letting GoRobert Shapirohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15834558788450735235noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15435314.post-21033555033865126842008-04-12T00:58:00.000-10:002008-04-12T00:58:00.000-10:00Greetings Alison. Not too long ago I had someone t...Greetings Alison. Not too long ago I had someone that I worked with who does not really understand from this persons life my life experience and they would from time to time say things that hurt my feelings. <BR/><BR/>I found that I wanted to give them gentle hints, which I think that you can relate to, that they were hurting my feelings but they didn't get it or they did not respond in a way that caused me to believe they got it because they would continue to make those remarks or send me things that they thought were funny on the computer that actually hurt my feelings. <BR/><BR/>Finally I discovered that I had to come right out and say it to them, make it crystal clear. I did that and much to my amazement this person thanked me and actually said to me that they didn't like the way I talked to them in the past because it wasn't clear. They accused me of talking around something and not coming to the point. <BR/><BR/>Sometimes, I found out with this person, it's better to speak bluntly even though I didn't like to do that. Since I don't like to speak bluntly and harshly to people I decided that this is not going to be someone that's going to be a friend of mine though they are someone that I have to work with sometimes. <BR/><BR/>So - that's that then. It's good to know who our true friends are even though, according to my experience, people can sometimes be a true friend they also sometimes want things from me that I don't want to give them because that's not a part of my personality. <BR/><BR/>So I spoke bluntly to that person because I had to work with that person sometimes but that doesn't mean I want to be their therapist if you know what I mean. This is what I hear you saying. You like the people because you think of them as friends but you don't want to be their therapist. Seems to me that's what I hear from you.<BR/><BR/>Goodlife.Robert Shapirohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15834558788450735235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15435314.post-43291063641431616142008-04-11T19:06:00.000-10:002008-04-11T19:06:00.000-10:00i sometimes find myself in a bottomless pit. i do...i sometimes find myself in a bottomless pit. i dont want to let go of feelings until ive made them apparent to whoever made me feel bad, but too often, it would only make things worse for me to be open about it, so i keep it all inside. its for the better every time i hold back, but it hurts so bad and i dont know if im even mature enough yet to totally relax and let go of whats bothering me right now.<BR/><BR/>anyway, i dont like giving up on making my friends see what theyve done to hurt me.<BR/>everything else, i can let go.<BR/><BR/>my question for you is,<BR/>what can i do when my friends hurt me and all they do is cover it up by acting like i'm hurting them by telling them about it??<BR/>it's hard for me to let go when they simply refuse to be aware.<BR/>these are true friends that im very close to, that honestly just do not see at all that they hurt me all the time. even when i passively let them know. its almost like they dont even hear what im saying. like they tune it out so they dont have to feel bad themselves.Alison Jane Lysakowskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14165072065790598293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15435314.post-25350885224823430922008-04-11T19:00:00.000-10:002008-04-11T19:00:00.000-10:00This comment has been removed by the author.Alison Jane Lysakowskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14165072065790598293noreply@blogger.com